Caution. Offensive level: red.
Others: Feel free to read and respond, but if you reject a Christian worldview, I would never expect you to abide by Christian rules. This post isn't for you.
There is no subject on which the Devil has spent so much time completely confusing our culture as the topic of sex. He is brainwashing a fourth generation that sexual gratification at all ages and of all varieties ought to be quenched or it will lead to mental and physical health issues. We have been besieged by the secular "experts" that one is uncontrollably genetically imprinted and should submit to all sexual desires and demands. Sex has become a new "right."
Young people are growing up not realizing that for thousands of years, since the inception of humankind ALL groups, tribes, religions, cultures and societies have had restrictions and taboos about sex. All people who have stepped foot on planet earth have had to suppress sexual urges sometime in their lives. Somehow we all have managed to do it and have been better people for learning sexual discipline.
Yet in today's society, we are made to feel we are being cruel to others to even suggest that they should wait--wait for another person, wait for marriage, wait for your spouse. We are told only to indulge in any strange, disordered, selfish, harmful, addicting, demeaning act our imagination (or the media's imagination) can titillate us with. Half the time we don't even know if we are being tempted by something we actually desire or just being shocked by sexual embarrassment.
We walk around actually thinking that others are having so much more fun and doing so much more sexually than we are. Kids today think they need to experiment with the most perverse acts just so that they won't be left behind! Married adults worry that they are not "doing it" as often or with as much diversity as their neighbors. It is ridiculous.
First, as Christians, we need to get out of our language and subconscious that sex is a right. It is no such thing. Sex is a gift--a vocation--a mission. (And I hate that we even use the word sex. Somehow that word has even demeaned the gift further.)
God has presented the responsibility of loving procreation to a man and woman joined in a life-long monogamous marriage. For all others, He has given the gift of celibacy. If you do not belong to the category of those God has given this responsibility, do not steal the gift from God.
Many people believe God must be a monster to put into us the drive to join with another in pleasurable unity, and then not let us use it. Well, remember the first commandment to humans after creation was to procreate! "Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth!" God commanded that we procreate. So He was hardly being cruel to infuse into us sexuality!
But the mission and vocation was limited also. For those who chose not to marry, there is another mission and vocation, that of celibacy (as Jesus Christ himself chose). It is not a demeaning vocation as you can help bring a different kind of life into the world. As a celibate Christian you are called to be full-time fathers and mothers by birthing souls into the kingdom of Heaven.
Satan is desperately trying to take this marital gift away through confusion. The Father of Lies encourages sex--the purely selfish, physical act, devoid of any authentic, self-giving and self-sacificing love.
Through this hatred of life, Satan convinces us that we are doing the environment and our career paths a great favor by keeping the act free of the power of God. He lies to us about contraceptives, abortion, homosexuality, masturbation, pornography, promiscuity, living together, adultery and divorce.... all to keep God out of the act. Keep life out of the act. In the end, the act becomes lifeless and devoid of pleasure, so we have to try strange things to continue the stimulation.
Yes, restricting our actions and even our desires (as Christ commanded that we not even lust!) is hard. It can be very, very hard. It is equally hard for heterosexuals as it is homosexuals to keep pure when not in a marriage and it is also extremely hard for many people to keep pure after marriage. The vast majority of us have sexual weaknesses in some areas and we all have to sacrifice to keep God's commands. No one is free of self-discipline and no Christian has a right to protest God's marital rules. No not one.
Remember that there is no such thing as an unrestricted gift of sexual union--even among married people.
For those who do chose marriage, and that is most of us, this gift of loving, pleasurable union is also limited-- to your spouse. It is a sin if a spouse is physically intimate with anyone other than their husband or wife. And, without getting too graphic, there are things even married people should not do that may be demeaning within the marriage bed.
Sexuality is limited by God. And somehow most people in the past have been able to suppress their physical desires until they received God's gift within marriage. It is not unloving or bigoted or cruel or old-fashioned or homophobic, or adulterophobic or masturophobic or pornophobic to tell people that they will be hurting themselves and others if they take the gift out of context.
You have been given the mission of total celibacy, called to exert self-discipline and depend upon God's grace if:
- You are too young to be married.
- If you are old enough to be married and are still dating.
- If you are attracted to someone of the same sex.
- If you are attracted to someone of the opposite sex who you are not married to.
God has placed lots of restrictions upon this precious gift. And that is because it is the most powerful gift of all. This gift makes you more like God than any other gift He has given to us. We become like Him in that we are forming another human in our own likeness. Sexuality is powerful beyond our imaginations and the marriage bed is somehow, as Paul says, a reflection of how Christ loves His Bride, the Church. It is not for the faint of heart, the selfish or childish.
Think about this: Nothing you will ever do, no matter how much money you earn or donate, no matter how famous, no matter what you did or said or wrote, no matter how fantastic--nothing you produce on earth will be eternal. There is only one eternal gift that God allows us to give to others... that is life! We can give them the spiritual dimension in spreading the gospel, but first comes the physical dimension.
We will spend eternity with our children--we create souls that are eternal. They are our greatest blessing on earth. LIFE! That is what it is all about--the gospel and marriage. That is what Satan is trying to destroy.