Friday, December 19, 2014

My Legal La-La Land

The History Channel has a researcher who claims she is a genetic descendant of Christ and Mary Magdalene. When I saw her being interviewed on one of those reality-docu-drama shows, I just shook my head in disbelief. She is being taken as a serious researcher.

On a FOX News morning show in the past few mornings, the anchors were discussing a man who wishes to be a woman and has changed his name to Michelle and insists everyone call him "her."

Then I read the headlines that Planned Parenthood is giving Sex-Ed classes to tenth graders that gives them a gender-choice. And teachers are taking this seriously.

I can't help but think Uncle Sam needs to be put into a straightjacket.


Does anyone else see the madness in this? And I am not speaking about anger but about the stark, raving kind. Why are we, as a culture, demanding that everyone accept our personal craziness. If a man insists that we legally accept his inner woman-ness so he can use women's public restrooms, then scientists need to officially hang up their lab coats. For not only is God dead, but so is science.

DNA and all empiric evidence... the scientific method? Fill those test tubes with shots of vodka, drink up and toss them into your bunsen burners because there is no such thing as rational, scientific thought anymore. 


So let's go to the next logical step. What if DNA is found at a crime scene and it points to a specific person who is a woman. And the person who committed the crime self-identifies as a man? If that person has legally changed her gender, can DNA evidence be used in a court of law to incriminate the woman turned man? 

Or let's go the opposite way. What if someone believes their inner person to be a criminal, but has yet to commit a crime. Could that personal legally insist on being incarcerated without evidence because of their self-identification?

This is exactly what is happening with gender-identification. If gender is open to legal challenge, so is every other self-identification. Evidence, absolute DNA evidence, no longer legally matters.

If how we feel, how we self-identify is going to be the new normal and we must all speak in unrealities, then I might as well jump in

because, I think today I self-identify as an Ethiopian. 

If gender is about how one feels about oneself, then one's race is open for self-identifying. 


(President Obama just told the Jewish media that he is Jewish "in his soul.")

And I really feel old today. So I am an Ethiopian who should legally receiving social security. I think I shall demand that today. And tomorrow when I go to the theater, I shall self-identify as under twelve, especially if I go to a PG movie. Then I could insist that I get a cheaper ticket because I feel like a kid, right?

And I can tell you I really do not feel fat. My identity is truly very, very thin. In fact, skinny. Therefore, I am a tall, skinny and elderly Ethiopian. That is my official self-identification today. And I will demand that everyone around me, acknowledge my self- identification or I will press charges against them. Or worse, I will call them an intolerant bigot.

And since our society is insisting on living in a legal delusion, I believe in my heart that I am of royal blood and am vastly wealthy. And since I can say with great sincerity that I know I do not belong in this century, I identify more with a future world. So, who I really am is a 23rd-century, Ethiopian elderly Lord, who is tall, thin and wildly rich.

And not only can I live in this world of lunacy, America is telling me that I have a right to walk around being offended and horrified and even legally insisting that everyone else treat me as I self-identify.